The town of Geilenkirchen, Germany

Are these Europe's craziest place names?

Woman sitting on a swing

Written by Maja Bezgovsek

Currently working in the Marketing Team at Topdeck Travel, Maja is an insatiable explorer and avid traveller. Born in Slovenia, Maja can be found searching for the next language to learn (already conquering five!) or off in her car searching for an epic road trip across Europe.

With so many different languages spoken across Europe, it’s no surprise that this region is home to a handful of fantastically strange city names.

From the ‘laugh-out-loud’ to just utterly weird, read on for a list of Europe’s craziest place names.

 

Niemyje-Ząbki, Poland.
This little village in north-east Poland might not seem like anything out of the ordinary except for the fact that its name translates as ‘I don’t wash my teeth.’

With a population of only 80 people, you could only imagine what made so many people move out…

 

A village in Poland with many trees surrounding it

 

Poo, Spain.
Yes, there is a town in Spain called Poo. But don’t be dissuaded by the unappealing name, apparently this little town features some incredible beaches and of course, an array of delicious tapas.

Poo or no poo, you be the judge…

 

A beautiful beach in a town in Spain called Poo

 

Lemu, Finland.
Continuing with a theme of precarious odours, the name of this Finnish town may not jump out as anything special until you realise it means ‘bad smell’ in Finnish.

Looking past the funny name, with an old church parish dating back to the middle ages, this little town is must visit.

 

A snowy road and trees with bright, green Northern Lights in the sky

 

Llanfair­pwllgwyngyll­gogery­chwyrn­drobwll­llan­tysilio­gogo­goch, Wales.
Of all the possible names, who on earth thought it was a good idea to name a place with such an out of control long name!

To be fair, when pronounced, it’s shortened to just Llanfair but the name is still quite ridiculous. It can boast with the title of longest place name in Europe, though.

 

A long road leading to grassy mountains in Wales

 

Oed, Austria.
From the longest to one of the shortest place names in Europe, Oed is a town in northern Austria. If that description seems a bit dull, it’s only to fit in with the town’s name, which is… ‘boring’.

Yes, this town is actually called ‘boring’.

 

A town square in Oed, Austria

 

Geilenkirchen, Germany.
Germany is home to many places with crazy names but one the best is Geilenkirchen, meaning ‘horny churches.’ Umm…not sure exactly how a church can be horny, but let’s just go with it.

It is pretty funny, after all. Apparently the town is full of incredible historical landmarks dating back to WWII. Who knew?

 

The town of Geilenkirchen, Germany

 

Gebergte, Netherlands.
The meaning of Gebergte is ‘mountain range’, which sounds completely reasonable until you realise the area could not be more flat. Seriously, there is not even a slight hill around.

Who’s up for a hike? Oh wait… I mean, a stroll, anyone?

 

A grassy path and a body of water in Gebergte, Netherlands.

 

Kolari, Finland.
Another average-sounding town name here, except that it translates as ‘car accident.’ I’m not too sure if I’d dare drive though it with a name like that but if you want to visit the longest free-flowing river in Europe, Kolari is the place to go.

 

A purple and blue sunset on the river in Kolari, Finland.

 

Feuchtwangen, Germany.
Ahhh Germany, we meet again with yet another one of your super strange place names.

Feuchtwangen translates as ‘moist cheeks’ in English and if the town’s historic old town, vivid marketplace and gorgeous monastery church don’t give you moist cheeks, then I don’t know what will.

 

Terraced houses in Feuchtwangen, Germany

 

Namlos, Austria.
There’s a village in Austria with no name. No literally, the “name” literally means ‘nameless.’

This little mountain village is heaven for those seeking relaxation and calm but it truly comes alive in the winter with an awesome ice-rink and 142km of ski slopes! But come on, at least make an effort naming it, Austria.

 

Middelfart, Denmark.
We’ve reached the totally immature section of the article. But seriously, Middelfart just sounds funny. Admit it – you can’t help but LOL at the sound of that.

The place is actually a cultural hub, though, with a ‘culture island’ featuring a gorgeous church and an extensive museum.

 

The town of Middelfart, Denmark

 

Bősárkány, Hungary.
One of the most badass names out there, Bősárkány means ‘loose dragon’. Just about an hour’s drive from Vienna, if in the area, it’s definitely worth to swing by for a chance to see loose dragons!

Okay, maybe not really but the village is still dripping with old charm and well worth a visit.

 

Batman, Turkey.
We end the list with the most awesome place name of all – Batman. How cool is that? But there’s more. The city in the south-eastern part of Turkey lies inside the Batman Province and near the Batman River.

This is now officially my new favourite place in the world.

 

A bridge over the Batman river in Batman, Turkey

 

Discover the craziness of Europe for yourself and book an epic trip with Topdeck HERE.

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